bleh.

My beloved and I are having trouble the past few weeks. We get into things and cry a bit and then are ok after. I think it's scaring her, but I don't think it should. It's normal because of the stress and separation. It's also self-perpetuating. I am behind on a lot of projects and don't feel like doing much lately. It is partly because it's still winter and partly because she's not here. I have been depressed for a few months. It is not that bad, though. We have so much together that it would be ludicrous to be torn apart over little things like distance or different meanings for words.

It is also about love what love should be/is/is assumed to be. She worries because she hasn't felt the 'warm fuzzies' lately. To her, that's a sign that maybe the love is gone. To me, that's normal. I think love is much more than just the excitement and spark, as nice as that is, and that everyone cools down at least a little after a few years. It's important to work on sex and attraction and affection in your marriage or relationship, because they are good for it, but they're not the whole thing. We think they are because we're fed a really distorted picture of life through many different channels and in various forms of media. I have to go to work but I will return to this.

"The Loop"

When I came home from work, my mother was mutely bathed in the light of the television, regarding it with an expression of intense blankness. She first enjoyed an episode of "That 70's show", or, as I call it, "The show with no jokes that are at all funny." After that, she watched an episode of a new show entitled "The Loop". The theme song, written by one mr. James Kochalka, is an excellent tune which details the adventures of a hockey-playing monkey who's escaped from scientists. The show that followed was an astounding work of lameness relying on the most illogical plot i've ever heard of. Here's a summary:

Two young brothers, one *Sensitive* and Career-oriented, the other *Wild* and irresponsible, have an apartment with two women, yet are dating neither of them. One of the women, a Brunette, is sensitive and intelligent. The other, a blonde, is sexually promiscuous and much less intelligent. They affix a zip-line between their apartment window and a tree where a falafel stand often waits. While using the zipline, the career-oriented male injures both his hands and testicles. The doctor tells him he must get an erection to prove that his vascular system is uninjured. If he does not erect within half an hour, he will miss an important meeting in which his boss discusses a large deal with a group of smelly frenchmen. Thus, he must achieve erection. Without the use of his hands, the responsibility for erecting him falls on the three other people in the room. All three, including of course his own brother, offer to masturbate him. He chooses the blonde, because he has a crush on the brunette and thinks it would be more awkward for them since he actually likes her. The blonde cajoles and entices him, but he cannot become aroused enough to erect. After offering him the chance to "Get rough and slap her around", she "talks dirty" in his ear and he instantly becomes aroused. She masturbates him to orgasm in the matter of a minute and cheerfully announces this fact. He, now dressed in an old halloween costume of hers, heads off to the cattle ranch where the meeting is to take place. There, he's forced to withstand a number of conditions which are made more difficult by his injuries. Endless rounds of handshaking and hours of horseriding cause enough pain that he cries. In explanation for his tears, he claims to wish for better franco-american relations and his show of emotion pleases the french, who give in to the deal. Meanwhile, at home, the irresponsible brother pretends that he, too, is genitally injured. He hopes that he will also be masturbated by the attractive, but airheaded blonde. She sees through his ploy and slaps him, revealing that she has feelings for the sensitive male (she previously mentioned kissing him after or during ejaculation). The brunette, for whom the sensitive male actually lusts, feels rejected. She wanted to be the one to manually masturbate him; and assumes that she wasn't chosen because she was too ugly - "The dog that couldn't even dig up a bone". Since his attempts to confess his lust for her have all been coincidentally interrupted, he gives up and lies, saying that he in fact lusts for the blonde and picked her to jerk him off for that reason. They train the dog to use the zipline and fetch them falafels. The dog attempts to retain the change from the first transaction in his mouth, but is forced to literally 'cough it up'.

There are people who routinely pay more for a trendy handbag than you paid for your current car. These kind of people are what we call "Rich", meaning they have so much money that they can spend it about as often and as freely as the air we have to share with them.

These people are very upset right now because hurricane Katrina wiped out a lot of the region's alligators and destroyed materials they need to build their nests. 85% of the world's alligator harvest comes from Louisiana. Alligator skin is very much in fashion and in season right now, being used on items like the Ralph Lauren polo "Ricky" bag, which is 14,000 dollars. It is made of some alligator who got cut up and made into a bag. There is no need to make a bag out of an alligator. You can make a bag out of cloth, plastic, or if it must have once been an animal, a cow would work. Some fashion designer named J. Mendel made an alligator jacket which was a steal at 21,000...

Now I have some disposable income, money that I don't need to survive at this particular moment. I spend this money on some things that I don't need, like cd's and games... and I spend some of the money on other people, and I save most of it. I try to give to charity when I can or feel guilty enough. I just can't wrap my brain around having so much money floating around you that you could spend twenty thousand on a useless piece of clothing, probably something you'd replace next year with whatever else is in fashion.

In other alligator-related news, people have been releasing their pet snakes(bought as a baby and then unwanted at full size) into the florida everglades. Without much competition, these snakes have reached lengths of 15 feet. Outdoor life recently published a short article complete with picture detailing the titanic battle of an alligator and a 14 foot snake that ended with the alligator dead and swallowed, but the snake ripped open from inside. Gory, but amazing.

It's dark and quite cold. I worked today and read a lot of bad news in the papers. Justice Scalia has written an opinion of the court that it's unconstitutional for someone to be convicted without confrontation with the accuser. This sounds reasonable, but in practice, it means that victims of domestic violence, child abuse and sexual abuse will have to go to court to get any reasonable chance of conviction. They'll have to face down the person who hurt and threatened them and defend themselves against the accusations of the defense, who routinely attack the witness aggressively. These are people who may be threatened with death for appearing in the courtroom, who might have their kids threatened. This could be a little girl who's absolutely terrified of court, the person who abused her, the police, and everything.. and without dragging her into court and questioning her, there will be little chance of conviction. Essentially, it boils down to convictions being much less likely in cases of domestic violence and child abuse. 

Other bad news includes the war's current price tag: 226 billion. And it's increasingly obvious that this was not a good idea in the first place. France was right... who knew? A few people here and there.

Other Good news includes Alicia coming to see me soon and the fact that I have a lot of cool atari games.

New Born.

Hello. I have not posted for a very long time as I've been busy doing a number of important and fulfilling things, such as writing music and poetry, screening images and doing pencil art, attending community college and wishing I was being ridden hard by my lovely girlfriend.

I have issue two done and three started. My latest recording entitled "Lullabyes for the Dead and Dying" is going well but slowly.

I now have a boating license?!... For my canoe.

Please Visit These Sites:
http://www.o-patch.com - Video footage of the best in local drunk punk, sXe hardcore and more.

http://www.naughtyjungleoflove.com - the best in successful funk bands fronted by former high-school dweebs with hearts of gold.

http://www.allhallowsevil.org - the best in symphonic death metal with a hard rocking pulse performed by a talented, cynical human being with cystic fibrosis and his ruddy-cheeked companion.

http://www.schoolforrobots.com - the absolute best in tweaked and melodic hard rock about zombies, sasquatch(es?), dinosaurs and vulcans. This is really good stuff.

http://www.incasrecords.com - the best in old-school to middle-school connecticut punk rock, long dormant and now revitalized by the dedication of Joe and Sue Snow.

Aight. One.